My 100th Post!

This is my 100th post. I don't know what to say but wow.

Answers.

Well how did it go? It went alright.

I'm preparing myself for the questions I will be asked in the future. They will ask how my gallery show went and I will say, it went alright. I wish I had electricity running to the light bulbs I hung. I wish I could have changed what I put on the ids. I would just rather have a name, id number, and a birthday. Plain and simple. If I really did this project right and I'm basing this on my artist's statement; which I made a week before it was due. It would have just been about Mexicans. Cause really the people I used really made it too much "beating around the bush" and safe. To be honest the idea was there but I really need to go out of my way to get it done correctly.

Here is my artist's statement. Which I have a feeling nobody read but myself in the gallery.

Already Here, Already Home

One idea grew into another and I should have someone shake me for thinking so narrow. I didn’t like the way my California ID card looked or rather my California Driver’s License. There is a difference, yet you get them at the same place and they make you fill out the same form. It wasn’t because I disliked my picture. It was for the design and principle. I don’t want to read your eye color; I want to look in them. When will I ever outspokenly doubt your identity based on the number of your weight? What do people who “card you” look at first? Your date of birth, the expiration date, the face on your card, then at your face, where you’re from, your height, and maybe your name if you’re lucky.
So these opinions and thoughts gathered and another idea arose. A piece of paper and a set of numbers should not determine who you are but that is what this world has become today. Know issues that are inevitable. And know the things that are not because we are all held by them. Many have lived and breathed the air and stop breathing in it because that is where their desire had led them whether or not they thought about it. There are too many people in this world to recognize the great ones and leaders sitting next to you on your way to a city you can’t wait to arrive in. So I come to you with a question mark of judgment and it needs to be answered now because we can’t kick the habits of neglect to our problems and our people. Who is staying and who is leaving? Who is staying and who is leaving?! I’m already here and we’re already home.

+Ella Aviña

Oldskool Sensual Woman

"Sensual Woman" by The Herbaliser. I first heard this song a long time ago when I was in high school. This song has a woman speak about sex as a woman and defining it like a dictionary. I like it but I was afraid of other people hearing me listen to it. Especially if members of my family were curious to know what I'm listening to. Its not the case anymore. I am of age and I like it just the same.

I'd Rather You Not Look At Me Today

Its weird how I notice that when my room is a mess I feel abnormal. I feel lost and worried.

I need to start buying books on bar tending, architecture, and feng shui.

Photo 121 is Close

Photo 121 critique is tomorrow. So I am now or should be working on having all my final pieces put together. I printed a few things out and overall I am happy with two of the six assignments we completed.

What I need to do.

Draw a diagram on the back of mat board. I also need to tape a hinge to mat board and print but I think I need to get a special tape. And also I am not sure which print I am going to use for about 3 of them.

A also owe Fatuma 80 bucks.

After tomorrow is over I will just have to focus on this journal. Which is actually not a bad thing. I kinda liked it over all. It was also therapeutic to me. It let my ideas and angst reveal other things.

What Baby Is This?

"What baby is this!?" my niece one time told me that she meet my sister at target. She's a little lier but it was so cute! I miss her so much. I often think she has forgotten about me but Jesus tells me she still remembers a lot of other people, as encouragement.

What Time Do I Work Tomorrow?

I have lost myself in the week that is. I don't remember what time I work tomorrow. I think I do some addicting behaviors but who's to say they are not right or wrong. I can get lost in playing video games. I know a few times I would waste a summers worth on Final Fantasy or Super Mario, The SIMs, Roller Coaster. My boyfriend at the time got me interested in the game City of Heroes and Sid Meier's Civilization. HOURS and HOURS of my life.

Outside Infront of Duncan Hall

I look like a total gansta in this pic.

Today is the day and I am not there

I just got home now and I won't be able to make it down to san jose in time to the opening of gallery 8. I have a job to attend to and i wish at times that I didn't have to go.

How Will I Do?

How will I ever survive next semester? No! I will survive, its just a matter of how happy I will be with myself afterward.

Meet Jonathan, Another Pathentic Man On MySpace

I have to deal with this crap at least once a month.

Part I.




Part II.





I'm sure you do, just keep telling yourself that.

San Julian and Saint James

Today I would like to thank San Julian and Saint James. How blessed was I, all the planets aligned. I was in a hurry Friday to get to campus. I went to pay, but they didn't have an atm accepting machine. I had all my stuff with me so I decided to go to campus and find an atm there. I get to the gallery (which I am suppose to be babysitting) and then another person arrives. Its about 2 something and I ask if he can stay while I run back and pay for my ticket. I was so shocked that I found it in my wallet at while I was literally running to the parking lot that I had forgotten my keys. Well I think, eh I can't leave the ticket on the window cause someone will take it. Then I thought, if I get caught I can now say I bought the ticket and at least defend myself in court.

A New Umbrella and Black Spray Paint

I sat and thought about it and I went down to target and bought an umbrella and a spray cans from Dale Hardware. I do have a spending problem but I think its temporary. Because of College. And just think, I'm only in my first semester.

Here are a few words I wrote down on the bus, I could use them for a song or something.

"Love is a deception
Faith had you on a leash
I could say were sorry
But love is like a child"

Found this semi-interesting site that lets you turn your text words into a jpg. Yea. I should really write comments to people that way. I remember this one time when I actually wrote happy easter to someone and had it signed with my name. They were totally amazed at it, i mean it was just a picture. But sometimes that means a lot to people. I should do that more often.

Still developing. Gallery 8 Why!

This is how my booth is setting up. I'm so mad that I have gallery 8 right now. I need electricity and now I have to run an extension cord from outside. Thats total rubbish. How is it that I was on the curaters' commite and I was the only one moved to gallery 8. Funny there were 6 of us.

Self Chat part 1

Get printing Ella!

s2 Now Complete

This is how the back of the ids look. s2 aka Side Two. Its funny how things change so much.

Getting Closer

Say What? What Step?

I am always thinking about the next step never the step I'm taking now. Its a problem that has my life more complicated. The image on top is my portrait with the liquefy.

How I Travel

Working on Image and Idea class project. This is how I travel when I take the bus or walking on the street. Picture taken by my sister but I tried to make it look like an old photo.

No Money Left

I am worth about 236 dollars. Very sad. I went Christmas shopping and I feel like returning a few things now because they have seemed to add up. My friends are probably giving me something. But I'm not sure on the price range. I spent 21 dollars and I had only two friends to by for. Only one was a penny more than the other but it seems like one has more than the other. Should I take things back? One is Ribbon Box Holder and One roll of ribbon by a Martha Stewart collection. I think its cute and useful. The other is a dvd of Jumanji and the Terminator 2 AND a board game. Same price but one seems like more. Not sure. I don't want them to fight over it either cause I think they might cause they are roommates. I also bought a hat for another friend but I don't think he is going to give me anything in return.

Stop Procrastinating!

I really need to start this work.

A Need To Cut Ties

I need to end my relationship with my atm card and direct deposit. Not cool. Things are automatically being take out of and things are being put in without my knowledge of amount. It's a little to much of what little I know. I will need to pay my college bill of 1,816+ by Dec 19th. Need to end ties with my bank for a while. Start off fresh for the new year.

Xsella Dyslexia

Xsella Dyslexia sounds like it would be a good music group name. At first it was just Xsella. Then I thought about Xsella Radio. But Xsella Dyslexia sounds nice too.

Someday When I...

Someday when I am in charge of creating a compilation of music together for a movie. I will add the "End Theme" by Zero 7, first.

I am Mentally Not Okay

I have so much crap to do.

Spring Sign Ups

Added 6 classes for next semester. I think I might drop one of them tho because the instructor has really poor ratings on ratemyprofessor.com. So yea, 16 units but might drop to 13. I'm hoping to make up for Fall semester's lack of units. I only took 6 units this Fall.

I own $1,816 by December 19th. A true Christmas present to me.

Kiwis and Avocados

If I were to compare a man's testicals to fruit I would choose kiwis and avocados.

Camera Control Pro

Today is my first trial day of Camera Control Pro by Nikon. Way Cool.

Here are my cons and pros.
I can't make more than one shot at a time.

Another Enchanting Poet

Allen Ginsberg. America.

America I've given you all and now I'm nothing.
America two dollars and twenty-seven cents January 17, 1956.
I can't stand my own mind.
America when will we end the human war?
Go fuck yourself with your atom bomb
I don't feel good don't bother me.
I won't write my poem till I'm in my right mind.
America when will you be angelic?
When will you take off your clothes?
When will you look at yourself through the grave?
When will you be worthy of your million Trotskyites?
America why are your libraries full of tears?
America when will you send your eggs to India?
I'm sick of your insane demands.
When can I go into the supermarket and buy what I need with my good looks?
America after all it is you and I who are perfect not the next world.
Your machinery is too much for me.
You made me want to be a saint.
There must be some other way to settle this argument.
Burroughs is in Tangiers I don't think he'll come back it's sinister.
Are you being sinister or is this some form of practical joke?
I'm trying to come to the point.
I refuse to give up my obsession.
America stop pushing I know what I'm doing.
America the plum blossoms are falling.
I haven't read the newspapers for months, everyday somebody goes on trial for
murder.
America I feel sentimental about the Wobblies.
America I used to be a communist when I was a kid and I'm not sorry.
I smoke marijuana every chance I get.
I sit in my house for days on end and stare at the roses in the closet.
When I go to Chinatown I get drunk and never get laid.
My mind is made up there's going to be trouble.
You should have seen me reading Marx.
My psychoanalyst thinks I'm perfectly right.
I won't say the Lord's Prayer.
I have mystical visions and cosmic vibrations.
America I still haven't told you what you did to Uncle Max after he came over
from Russia.

I'm addressing you.
Are you going to let our emotional life be run by Time Magazine?
I'm obsessed by Time Magazine.
I read it every week.
Its cover stares at me every time I slink past the corner candystore.
I read it in the basement of the Berkeley Public Library.
It's always telling me about responsibility. Businessmen are serious. Movie
producers are serious. Everybody's serious but me.
It occurs to me that I am America.
I am talking to myself again.

Asia is rising against me.
I haven't got a chinaman's chance.
I'd better consider my national resources.
My national resources consist of two joints of marijuana millions of genitals
an unpublishable private literature that goes 1400 miles and hour and
twentyfivethousand mental institutions.
I say nothing about my prisons nor the millions of underpriviliged who live in
my flowerpots under the light of five hundred suns.
I have abolished the whorehouses of France, Tangiers is the next to go.
My ambition is to be President despite the fact that I'm a Catholic.

America how can I write a holy litany in your silly mood?
I will continue like Henry Ford my strophes are as individual as his
automobiles more so they're all different sexes
America I will sell you strophes $2500 apiece $500 down on your old strophe
America free Tom Mooney
America save the Spanish Loyalists
America Sacco & Vanzetti must not die
America I am the Scottsboro boys.
America when I was seven momma took me to Communist Cell meetings they
sold us garbanzos a handful per ticket a ticket costs a nickel and the
speeches were free everybody was angelic and sentimental about the
workers it was all so sincere you have no idea what a good thing the party
was in 1935 Scott Nearing was a grand old man a real mensch Mother
Bloor made me cry I once saw Israel Amter plain. Everybody must have
been a spy.
America you don're really want to go to war.
America it's them bad Russians.
Them Russians them Russians and them Chinamen. And them Russians.
The Russia wants to eat us alive. The Russia's power mad. She wants to take
our cars from out our garages.
Her wants to grab Chicago. Her needs a Red Reader's Digest. her wants our
auto plants in Siberia. Him big bureaucracy running our fillingstations.
That no good. Ugh. Him makes Indians learn read. Him need big black niggers.
Hah. Her make us all work sixteen hours a day. Help.
America this is quite serious.
America this is the impression I get from looking in the television set.
America is this correct?
I'd better get right down to the job.
It's true I don't want to join the Army or turn lathes in precision parts
factories, I'm nearsighted and psychopathic anyway.
America I'm putting my queer shoulder to the wheel.

Da To Do List

called about missing pay check
made an appointment
washed all clothes
fed dogs
cleaned bathroom
shredded old papers
removed empty boxes
condensed boxes

Living In California

What was one idea grew into another. Then into an opinion about something so invisible to the person on the other side. Time could not stop anyone and there are those who want to put up a wall in order to slow it down. And before you know they lived and breathed the air and stop breathing in it as any citizen would. A piece of paper and a set of numbers should not determine who you are but that is what this world has become. A world growing full of selfish and satisfied people. Not willing to sacrifice their convenience and securities. There are too many people in this world to recognize the great ones and leaders sitting next to you, on a bus on it's way to a city you can't wait to arrive in.

So I come to you with a question mark of who is who and who is staying? And I say, it doesn't matter because they all lived a little in California.

think

So much to do so little time. And a lot of time wasted contributed by the internet.

I can't think of anything.

Shoes, Lets Get Some Shoes, Shoes

Went to Ross and bought some shoes.

An hour gained. Sweet but I wish it was more.

Can tears change your mind?

Waiting For Technology

My laptop should last more than just an hour.

Flash drives have arrived. In respectable sizes. Ranging from 1GB - 2GB - 4GB - 8GB. But priced from $20 - $100 which isn't bad but it should be $5 to $20. In the future I will laugh at myself for buying a 1GB at $20. I know I did when I remembered I bought my first flash drive at 256MB years back for almost $50 when they first came out. They should be cheap. I went to a printer one time and they kept my flash drive until I came to pick up my photos. And I thought, I just gave them a 1 GB for only one print. It's good to keep a number of them around you. You may use it to do something short and easy and on the other hand you may need it to finish your work.

I was trying to estimate how much space I need for my library of music. Thats a big issue for me. So far I take up almost 18 GB of space. And I don't have half my collection of cds in there yet. So maybe its like 40GB for my music right now. And say I want to add my photos which are at 10GB now and increase with every week.

I thought about buying an iPod in the future but I'm still waiting. I'm not a real video watching person. But since I don't watch a lot of tv. I could buy old shows and episodes and watch them later. I have at least 3GB of video right now.

I want to create a media player that plays just about most popular extensions. .jpg, .gif, .png, .mov, .mp3, .wav, .wma, .wmv, .mp4, divx, .etc. I would name it Pyur Player. It would come in three sizes. S M L. Small being 16GB and as small as the iPod shuffle (second generation) Medium would be 80GB and it would be as big as two small ones. And the large about four times bigger with a nice screen that covers the whole face and is 250GB.

Props to Western Digital's My Book. Depending on what you do or need it for the minimum you will need is 250GB for a couple of years.

I should be in bed right now.

It rained again today. I forgot to bring an umbrella. I was wearing the wrong shoes today, my jeans were all wet at the bottom. Too bad they were my favorite ones. I wish I could have brought my bike with me to campus today. It started raining half way walking to the bus stop. I still don't have a lock for my bike. I don't know where it went? I've looked everywhere.

I returned the glassware I used in my photo shoot. I feel as tho I am not wear I want to be. I got a B on my first photo which I didn't think was fair. I could not read her hand writing very well either. I don't think it was fair to doc me down on something she didn't not explain well enough. And also a little shocked because she said she was fairly easy. And if my decent photo which I thought was good wasn't decent enough for an A than I'll have to try a little harder than I guess.

My Book, probably one of the top greatest inventions next to the internet. I use a My Book of 250GB and its amazing its like I have my own library. I store everything there like a squirrel hiding nuts. Anyways they have a lot of different version. I was checking there website. Check this out. They even make a "World Edition" that lets you access your My Book REMOTELY! Your computer doesn't even have to be on! This is amazing and it only come in 1 TB and 2 TB. Imagine the possibilities.

This is practical being your OWN WEB HOST PROVIDER.

Preview of my costume. I've been using light room more and more. I'm starting to like it.

Bed Time Goal

Lately I've been staying up too late. About 4am. I will go to bed at 12am. Get up at 8am and get ready for class. Perhaps set up my bike rack. I can't wait to ride my bike on campus again. My bike is a little heavy but I will use it. Gil did a great job of repairing it. He is good man.

Busy Busy Busy. Finally finished making my form.

still need to edit my 5 photos and put it on a disk.

i buy too much.

Busy Busy Busy.

Standing outside the spartan complex. I await my debut of indoor soccer. I'm excited yet I do regret eating that pizza not to long ago. I hope I have fun.

My black light broke. Fuck.