It rained again today. I forgot to bring an umbrella. I was wearing the wrong shoes today, my jeans were all wet at the bottom. Too bad they were my favorite ones. I wish I could have brought my bike with me to campus today. It started raining half way walking to the bus stop. I still don't have a lock for my bike. I don't know where it went? I've looked everywhere.

I returned the glassware I used in my photo shoot. I feel as tho I am not wear I want to be. I got a B on my first photo which I didn't think was fair. I could not read her hand writing very well either. I don't think it was fair to doc me down on something she didn't not explain well enough. And also a little shocked because she said she was fairly easy. And if my decent photo which I thought was good wasn't decent enough for an A than I'll have to try a little harder than I guess.

My Book, probably one of the top greatest inventions next to the internet. I use a My Book of 250GB and its amazing its like I have my own library. I store everything there like a squirrel hiding nuts. Anyways they have a lot of different version. I was checking there website. Check this out. They even make a "World Edition" that lets you access your My Book REMOTELY! Your computer doesn't even have to be on! This is amazing and it only come in 1 TB and 2 TB. Imagine the possibilities.

This is practical being your OWN WEB HOST PROVIDER.

Preview of my costume. I've been using light room more and more. I'm starting to like it.

Bed Time Goal

Lately I've been staying up too late. About 4am. I will go to bed at 12am. Get up at 8am and get ready for class. Perhaps set up my bike rack. I can't wait to ride my bike on campus again. My bike is a little heavy but I will use it. Gil did a great job of repairing it. He is good man.

Busy Busy Busy. Finally finished making my form.

still need to edit my 5 photos and put it on a disk.

i buy too much.

Busy Busy Busy.

Standing outside the spartan complex. I await my debut of indoor soccer. I'm excited yet I do regret eating that pizza not to long ago. I hope I have fun.

My black light broke. Fuck.

Thinking about starting another blog called DJ something?

Ever have that problem where you go to add an album cover on your iTunes and its not found or isn't there? Well that what this new blog in my mind is for.

DJ MEHDI - SIGNATUNE
Uploaded by edbangerrecords

La Foule

Edith Piaf. This song makes me feel joy and sorrow.

Artist Tyler Cripe. Good Stuff.

Feeling Depressed

I have this head ache that won't go away. I cam constantly thinking way too much. I live by this philosophy that too much of anything is not good for you. I have over thought too many thoughts today and it has overwhelmed me to the point of exhaustion.

Let me begin by explaining my day with out trying to sound like a sad case. I got up later than I wanted to even though my alarm clock was set and on loud. I rode my bike to the bus stop I was tired and sweaty. Then my head started to hurt. I don't know if it was all from the bumpy bike ride or what? I was so happy that I completed my first round trip on bike at the end of the day. But this also had its ups and downs for example I forgot to bring a lock to tie up my bike and when I went to up my bike in the cage I couldn't find the sensor on the door next to my class so I went down farther down to another cage and left it there and walked to class. I later asked about it and the guy said that the sensor was behind the door and that I would have to put my hand around the bars and wave the key around it to open it. I learned the right way to put the bike on the bus's bike rack. I also learned that my bike is kinda heavy. I found a bus that takes the freeway making commuting faster.

Went to class a little confused, I don't know what the fuck is going on really. I went in to show my journal and talk about my project. I think I have to hang my project in a gallery next week and I have not started my shooting. Kinda worries me. But I don't know why cause class ends in December if I'm not mistaken. On the paper it says Third assignment- Final Assignment Preparation. When speaking about my project I was saying how I didn't like having the green screen look so unnatural when I replaced it with something else. She told me to go with it and play it up.

"Well your not serious about this, your not going to go to the state and propose this"

Something about that offended me. I didn't go to a University to fuck around. I am serious as the money I paid to take these fucking classes and if they don't look professional enough for me than I must be wasting my time here. Her teachings are questionable to me now. As politically involved as she clams to be I don't like her attitude towards my ideas about changing the real world not making fake videos.

Afterward she asked me if I would be interested in getting a small role in her videos that she does on the side from photography. It involved me dressing up like a maid at a hotel and looking like a happy undocumented worker because I look Mexican. She said she'd pay me 100 bucks and could work around my schedule. I showed her my optimism towards the idea but now I am totally opposed to it. She makes up these videos and doesn't even put them on YouTube, wtf who does that? Who is her audience? I don't find her humor amusing enough for me.

But anyways riding my bike back. I almost go hit by an Indian woman in a minivan at a cross walk. I couldn't stop anywhere in the city to eat which I wanted to do badly but again, I didn't bring a lock for my bike. I wish I could have taken Jesus with me I was home early. He isn't talking to me and this is also why I am very depressed.

He slapped my cheek last week and since then I've been ever confused. Why would he do that to me, my family wouldn't do that? He was playing around with me and next thing you know he was tapping my cheek to get me to put my arms up higher but it hurt. I cried about it then he said he was leaving. That made me feel super sad I cried more because all of my tears chased him away. I feel as thought it was my fault. I can't stop myself from crying. I wish he would stop leaving me when I cried. Its so painful to me. A hug and I'm sorry could have easily fixed it but I go on alone. I try to act like it was nothing but it still hurts me. I heard my mom wake him up in the morning and he then laid down with me. I held him in my arms I cried to him "Why did you leave me?" over and over again. He just later rolled over and I couldn't stop crying so I left to sleep in another room so he couldn't hear me. When I woke again he was gone. Since than he has yet to call me.

Is it all my fault? Why do I always have to make things better first?

I feel as thought I am tired of just about everything, this might be the exhaustion talking but I am so tired of everything really. Tired of school, traveling to school, working late, spending too much money, not turning things on time, not thinking about my future, not hanging out with friends. I wish I could live. I wish I could go travel and not worry so much about be home in time for something else. I never get to sleep in on the weekends. I don't want to finish college and say I wish I could have done this or that. If ever I have a child of my own I would like to pay for their college education.

No Light Bulb

I went to this place called REI in south Fremont, pretty cool I found the bike rack that I would like the sale ends the 14th so I need to let my mom know. She said she would buy it for me for my birthday. As lucky as I am I feel that I do not show my appreciation enough.

Looking At the Art of Making Music

A coworker of mine recently gave me a cd demo of his music. I think he has talent.

How

Still working on how I'm going to light my id background, been experimenting with backgrounds but I have not found anything I'm to favorable of.

New Day A Cleaner Room and The Quad System

Woke up, washed clothes, cleaned a little, went to work.

Put a Cork on It

Went to a gallery in sjsu's art & design building first floor. Wow. I got to sit in the cork chair. So much Fun! The guy there told me there is a place to rent a lens! I looked for it today but I could not find the exact room.

Green Fabric!

yes yes. I bought myself a small green screen. About 15 minutes to change background and be completely satisfactory about it.